In honor of Hayes coming up on three months, I thought I would finally document our birth story as best as I could before I forget any of the details. It is wild to think that I was just pregnant for 9-10 months and already have a three month old baby. Time is flying by and I’m definitely not ok with it!!

Photos by Jordan Voth

Let me first just say that I loved being pregnant. I know everyone’s experience is so different, especially with birth, but even through the last few weeks of pregnancy, I really enjoyed being able to carry our first baby and experience all the changes that came along with it. I exercised all the way up until 4 days before giving birth, felt incredibly strong each month — I completed my 8-week Strength Level Up program one and a half times through and then went on to test all of the workouts for my Pregnancy Program coming out early next month. I was really lucky to not experience any nausea (maybe two or three days total), which allowed me to keep training in each trimester and eat my previous diet of quality protein, lots of healthy fats, complex carbs and fiber [see my cookbook for recipes].

Of course, I experienced fatigue, so I knew that when it came to working out, it had to be an AM training session or it wouldn’t happen. Mostly because I needed my nap in the afternoons to survive through the day. But overall, I would say I had a very positive pregnancy. Flash forward to my last few weeks and birth:

My sister gave birth to my niece 8 days early from her due date, so for some reason I had it in my head that I would also give birth a week early. My due date was May 24th and once I actually hit 40 weeks, on my due date, it felt much later than I had been anticipating. My sister actually flew up from Vegas to stay with us during the week of my due date so she could help with the baby, just like how Bridger and I did when they had their baby. In hindsight, the pressure to give birth felt like it was at an all time high with her there, plus the text messages and DMs on Instagram asking if I’d given birth yet. Though they were obviously coming from a good place, it made me feel so much more pressured and stressed. I remember waking up each morning and walking out to the living room in disappointment it hadn’t happened yet. My sister ended up having to fly home before I delivered because of work, her planned travel, and our niece. So yes, we will definitely be waiting until the baby comes next time for my sister to fly to us haha.

I was starting to get desperate to try all the things to induce labor, so I booked an acupuncture appointment for my first time on Monday, May 27th. I had never gone before but heard positive things when it came to getting things moving and blood flowing, and I really enjoyed it. I think it was great for me at the time because of how stressed I was. It ended up being so relaxing and I had booked a second appointment for that Wednesday if nothing happened by then.

My next OB appointment was on Wednesday, May 29th, when I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I had opted for a membrane sweep to help induce labor naturally, which by the way, is extremely uncomfy and I really wasn’t mentally prepared for it. Before she performed the sweep, she checked and let me know that I was just 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. I’ve learned that the amount of centimeters you’re dilated doesn’t necessarily tell you a whole lot, since your body can be 1cm for weeks during your last trimester, or it can rapidly dilate in the matter of hours. The term, ‘effaced’ is referring to your cervix and how thin and soft it becomes as it prepares for childbirth. The cervix stretches and gets thinner (closer to 100% is when the baby is ready to come out).

After the membrane sweep, they took me to a separate room to monitor the baby’s heart rate and found that I was having extremely small contractions, which made me excited that it was hopefully going to happen in the next day or so. My OB had let me know that they had scheduled me for an induction that Saturday morning as they don’t prefer their patients going past 41 weeks, and to be honest, that added so much more pressure. My gut was telling me that my body would have this baby naturally and it would come when it was ready. I reluctantly asked if I could have a second membrane sweep in 48 hours, if I didn’t go into labor by then, to give me another shot at going naturally. She said, of course.

I had cramps the remaining part of the day and was convinced it was going to happen any time. We had our hospital bags ready just in case and were prepared for anything. I ended up getting acupuncture later that day. Again, I was trying anything. Bouncing on a yoga ball, doing all kinds of stretches, walking, etc.

Fast forward 48 hours since nothing happened, I showed up to get my second membrane sweep. Although, this time was much better–still extremely uncomfy– but doable because I knew what to expect. She said she was going to “give it her best shot to get me to go into labor” and went a little harder, so I’ll leave that up to your imagination lol. At that point, I was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. I told her that after thinking about it the last few days I wanted to cancel the induction they had scheduled for me for the following morning. One, because I didn’t want to be induced and two, because I wanted to allow a few days for this second membrane sweep to take effect and work its magic. She was very understanding and just requested that we come back Monday morning if nothing happens so that they can monitor the baby again and make sure everything is going smoothly.

I texted our Doula everything that was happening that week and updating her each day with any progress. Initially at the beginning of my pregnancy, we never considered or planned to hire a doula. That changed when our good friends had their baby earlier this year and they raved about how helpful it was to have a doula with them at the hospital and available for questions 24/7 during pregnancy. Bridge and I ended up interviewing (found her through Doulamatch.com) and hiring one in Seattle when I was about 6-7 months pregnant, which I believe is a little late to look/hire. I’m so happy we had her and would definitely recommend to any first time parents for support. We only planned to have my sister in the delivery room with us if she wanted to (and that never worked out lol) so we thought it would be great to have someone else who knew what they were doing and could support both Bridger and I all the way through third trimester, birth and just after.

Anyways, our doula reassured me that the average first time mom gives birth at 41 weeks and 3 or 4 days, so not to worry and keep doing what I’m doing re: exercise, eating nourishing foods, stretching, lots of sleep.

Saturday came and went, feeling a little discouraged yet another day.

SUNDAY.

Sunday morning at 4:50am I woke up to my water breaking. I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks how to explain my birth story in a way that’s not overly detailed haha but here we go. It wasn’t a full breakage if that makes sense. Just a little fluid that made me unsure if my water actually broke, but 30 minutes later it happened again, and then again, so I knew it was happening. Bridger and I automatically started getting ready to go to the hospital. We showered, gathered our bags, made smoothies (lol), got the snack bag. I texted my doula to let her know what happened and she told us to take it easy, relax, take naps/rest, eat nutrient-dense food until my contractions become consistent. I thought this was crazy because, yet again, I was comparing everything to my sister’s birth. Her water broke and 30 minutes later she had intense contractions and a few hours later her baby was out. So I was ready to go to the hospital immediately.

Here’s the thing… I didn’t have any contractions. So we listened to her suggestions, took it easy the next few hours, I climbed our stairs multiple times, took a nap, answered more questions for my Prenatal Training Certification exam (why I did this to myself during my third trimester, I have no idea), made and filmed a recipe (click HERE for my pb chocolate chip bliss balls that support breastfeeding), did a series of exercises she texted me, we had dinner, I pumped one-two more times to save up colostrum. [I used my portable breast pump from week 39-41+ to help induce labor and obviously, it didn’t work on me haha. However, I was able to save up 60ml’s of colostrum for the baby in the freezer for the first few days of birth if I needed extra or whenever he gets sick, I can boost a bottle of breastmilk with it since it’s loaded with vitamins and minerals.] I was still leaking water throughout the entire day, which was crazy.

Not until 9pm that night did I start having consistent contractions. They started out mild, but began to get a little more intense around 11pm. I started using the tens unit our doula gave us on my back, which I actually really liked and used for the majority of the time I was in labor, at the hospital too.

Bridge was timing my contractions and we left for the hospital around 12:15am. We met our doula there and were admitted to the triage at 12:55am. They checked my cervix and I was still at 3cm dilated. They also had to test if my water actually broke, which was frustrating because my verbal confirmation wasn’t enough. She used a cuetip (again, uncomfy) to check the fluid in that area and we had to wait another 30 minutes for them to confirm that my water did, in fact, break.

They moved me to the birthing center at 1:45am and then I was fully checked in by 3:15am when they took a blood panel. Our doula recommended we all take a nap by that point because there was no telling how long I would be in active labor. Again, so thankful for her and her tips! I can confidently say we wouldn’t have done that on our own. We slept from 3:30-5:30am and I woke up to very painful contractions.

Going into birth, I wanted to be very flexible in my choices and options. I had written out and gone over my birth plan a few weeks before my due date with our doula. She was great because she came to the house and gave us every possible option and piece of information when it came to what could happen in the delivery room, what we could be presented with, our options, etc. Had we not had her, we wouldn’t have been as prepared ~or so we thought lol~. I narrowed down a general plan of what I wanted from there, printed it out, and gave it to the nurses when we first checked into our birthing suite. Nonetheless, I went in with a fluid mindset, knowing anything could happen and that I was open to trying multiple interventions before an epidural as the last resort.

Our hospital offered nitrous, which was the first thing I asked for. It ended up taking a while for them to set up for some reason, and I anticipated it to be more helpful than it was. You had to breathe into the mask very slowly and deeply through each contraction. It was sort of clunky and added to the three or four other cords I was already hooked up to. By this point, the pain was pretty intense. I only lasted about 30-45 minutes with it before wanting to try something new. I moved to the warm bath in our bathroom and knew immediately I hated it haha. I’m not a bath person as is, but our doula recommended it could be helpful to ease the contraction pain. I could see how maybe it eased the contractions, but honestly, I was in so much pain that I was ready for the epidural after another 30-40 minutes in there.

My IV on my forearm had fallen out at this point so they had to re-IV me in the top of my hand while I was in the bath. I’m not afraid of needles, but like, I’m not into re-inserting them, you know? I made my way out of the tub, put on a new sports bra with the gown over the top, and waited for the anesthesiologist to get there.

They checked me again at 8:30am and as much as I wanted to be– and expected to be– somewhere around 8cm, my OB told me I was only at 3.5cm. The entire mood of our team: me, Bridger, our doula, and the nurse completely felt discouraged. After those 3.5 hours of extremely intense contractions, finding out you’re only 0.5cm more dilated than you were when you checked into the hospital was an absolute bummer.

I got the epidural just after that at 9am. Once it was in, the nurse/doula turned my body to either side for ~15 minutes to allow the drip to make its way through to my lower body on each side. Here’s the thing. I went in knowing epidurals don’t always work. I’ve heard several stories and didn’t feel 100% confident even while I was getting it.

My right side was not fully numb so I pressed the button to get more drip. In the meantime, I was able to take another nap from 9:30am-12pm, which was great for me to relax. I went in and out of full body shakes throughout my entire labor, something I didn’t know was common until just a few weeks before birth.

Meanwhile, my doctor was getting concerned since I was so far past the 24-hour mark of my water breaking, and I was at risk for chorio (pronounced, “korio” and full name, chorioamnionitis), a serious condition when the membranes that surround the fetus and amniotic fluid are infected by bacteria. She knew I didn’t want pitocin from me vocalizing it at past appointments and from my birth plan, but we needed a way to speed my contractions up to get the baby out so she highly recommended we try that. They also had lab come in and take two huge vials of blood to get tested to see if my amniotic fluid had been infected, but we weren’t going to find out the results for a few days. My doctor also recommended I take a dose of antibiotics in case there was an infection. That was a little confusing to us because it felt like a gamble, not knowing my blood results but having to make a decision on the spot that could prevent our baby from getting the infection. As much as I’m against antibiotics when you have the option to, I didn’t want to risk anything for our baby. So I agreed that it was the best option for both pitocin and only one round of antibiotics. Pitocin worked so quickly that they ended up slowing it down because my contractions were nearly too quick, at about 1 minute apart. Thankfully at this point, I was fully numb and couldn’t feel anything.

At 1pm they checked me again and I was finally at 8.5cm dilated. I labored for the next two hours with my epidural going in and out of effectiveness. There was one point my left hip went un-numb and I could feel everything. It was one of the worst pains and I’m assuming that’s when Hayes was making his way down the canal. During labor, our doula was helping me get in different positions to help support the baby’s way down. Sidelying, on all fours, using the peanut ball, etc.

Bridger was so supportive throughout all of this. It was nice that our doula and nurse were helping me through positions, giving me feedback, etc., and Bridge was able to stay focused on being there for me to hold my hand, fan me (this portable fan was amazing), and fill my water. Sometime during these two hours he walked over to Whole Foods across the street to grab me more coconut water and get a snack for him since he hadn’t eaten the entire day lol. While he was gone, the nurse checked me one last time and gave me the OK since I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. I didn’t know anything about the process, so I texted Bridger, “get here now,” which now seems entirely too stressful getting that from his end. He came back immediately and it was now 3:18pm.

At this point, I could feel everything. I wasn’t numb at all. The nurse asked if I wanted to call the anesthesiologist again to check the epidural, but it could be a while because they were busy, or if I wanted to start pushing. She assured me that I would feel relief when I started pushing. I thought that was wild, but she sounded so sure of it that I started pushing.

Delivering a baby is emotional. I had envisioned myself being in this magical moment giving birth, without intense pain (in part due to an epidural), and it was just the complete opposite of that for me. I was in so much pain and there was no end in sight for how long I’d be pushing since you hear all these stories of moms pushing for hours and hours. I just started crying and honestly cried through pushing the entire hour and 15 minutes lol. We tried multiple positions, which was so hard to maneuver with areas of my legs numb and being connected to the machines by all these cords. I had read or heard somewhere you weren’t supposed to ‘purple face push,’ meaning, you weren’t supposed to push hard enough to where your face turned purple. I was pushing as hard as I could and letting go, then repeating that during my contractions, and would catch my breath in between. My OB came in after about 20 minutes and observed a few pushes and said, “these are great starting pushes!” The word, “starting” really threw me.

Once the nurse really directed me in how to push and hold the push for 7-8 seconds, we started to see progress. It was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and the most physically exhausting. I felt like I was going to pass out several times because of how lightheaded I was getting from all the deep breaths. Towards the end of me pushing, the nurses could see how much pain I was in and offered to call the anesthesiologist again. I said yes. He got there about 20 minutes later and checked my back for the epidural. He lifted up the end of the epidural catheter/tube, as it had snapped in two pieces preventing me from getting any epidural drip for the past 2+ hours.

All I remember him saying was that he would have to insert an entirely new epidural into my back, but that would require me taking a break from pushing and having to wait another 30 or so minutes for it to take effect. The nurse said she could start seeing the baby’s head at that point, and then the anesthesiologist went, “OK, she’s going to have to do it on her own!” I locked in and three pushes later, baby was out at 4:27pm. It was funny, well now it’s funny, but the nurse yelled out during those last few pushes that I was feeling the ring of fire. Twice. If you’re unfamiliar, the ring of fire is when the baby’s head is crowning and is the most painful part of childbirth because it’s the biggest part of the baby. I probably could have gone without knowing that at the time haha.

If you’ve been following along, Bridger and I kept the gender a secret until birth. So the nurses asked Bridger, “OK dad, is it a boy or girl??” Bridge announced it was a boy as they handed him to me and he was perfect! The nurses were great because throughout my entire labor, we were guessing what the baby was going to be. They were so nice and I feel lucky with the nurses I got. We became so friendly and that’s what made it more exciting when Hayes finally came out because they were so excited to hear Bridge announce what it was. (p.s. if you get a nurse you don’t like or don’t vibe with, you can request a new one!). My 11-day-late, but perfectly on time baby.

I had a mild hemorrhage and was losing a bit more blood than normal, so the doctor went in to remove any placental tissue and give a uterine massage. Again, this was uncomfy, but nothing was worse than what I just went through, so it was doable. We were all healthy and good and then she stitched me up (2nd degree tear, which is the most common), and I was already in baby bliss so I didn’t mind too much.

We had one girl name and a few boy names on our list so once we figured out it was a boy we immediately felt like he was a Hayes. He was 8lbs 6oz and a healthy boy. I was exhausted afterwards, to say the least, but we Facetimed a few family members with him before they had us transfer to their recovery room. I remember my eyes were so heavy and I could fall sleep at any minute.

We had the best experience overnight and the following day at our hospital with the nursing staff. They were awesome. Bridge kept me fueled with all the snacks we brought — click here for My Hospital Snack Bag. We got discharged around 4pm and drove home with our new little one.

The morning after birth, feeling so grateful for what my body just did.

Hayes Michael Harlington. 8 pounds 6 ounces. 20.5 inches long.

I will say the last two weeks were an emotional rollercoaster and now that I know how everything worked out, I’m assuming I’ll feel a little more patient when we have our next baby just because I’ll know the process better. It took me a few days to really process what happened and the fact that I basically delivered him naturally, which I wasn’t necessarily planning, or mentally prepared for.

Of course, I couldn’t be more in love with our baby and I can confirm, everything goes by way too fast! I’ll be here soaking in every minute with him!

Thank you for letting me share our birth story here — I know everyone’s experience is different and special in their own way.

Random Thoughts / Notes

• I’m glad I did a variety of different pain relief options at the hospital so now I know in the future what I liked, what I didn’t, what worked, etc.
• In hindsight, we could have waited even longer to go to the hospital because in the moment you think your contractions are strong, but you have no idea until later on lol. If we would have gone earlier, the hospital would have been more inclined to offer interventions earlier on to induce labor and get the baby out.
• Here’s my Amazon Storefront with more things I brought to the hospital with me. My DELIVERY/POSTPARTUM folder and my BABIES folder.
• 100% recommend a doula for first time parents
• You can say no to so many things that your OB / hospital states as a matter of fact. It almost sounded like I needed to get an induction that Saturday, but I’m SO happy I canceled it because the morning after it was scheduled, my water broke. They like to rush you, but again, the average first time mom delivers around 41 weeks and 3 or 4 days.
• Bring all the snacks, bone broth, coconut water, fresh orange juice (this was life altering post-birth) for delivery. Again, linking my Hospital Snack Bag here.
• It’s hard not to set yourself up for birth expectations ahead of time. I truly thought my birth would be so similar to my sister’s and of course, I was so wrong. Everyone’s experience is so different 🙂
• I brought 2 little colostrum collectors full of colostrum with us to the hospital. This is what I had been pumping the previous two weeks and freezing. I kept in a ziplock/Stasher bag with a frozen ice block with our name on the bag. The nurses stored it in the fridge when we first got there and a nurse helped me feed it to Hayes the next morning.
• Bridge and I didn’t have any visitors at the hospital after birth. I’m so happy we did this because we were in our own little bubble and honestly weren’t at the hospital for that long (~24 hours after birth), so it was nice to get rest as a new family of 3. Visitors are great for after at home when there’s less pressure.